Bumper Cars

Short people are like dynamite.  They may be little, but when you tick them off, an explosion occurs.  Don't believe me?  Pull out in front of me or cut me off on the highway.  I.  become.  unglued...

I'm a Christian.  I'm a mother.  I try daily to be the best person I can be.  But when a complete moron gets behind the wheel of a vehicle and veers towards me, I want nothing more than the chunk a heavy object in their general direction.  I think an IQ test should be administered when people apply for a drivers licence.  It would most definitely reduce the amount of 'traffic incidents' on the road...

If it was legal and I had bajillions of dollars to invest in a company, I would create  these exploding bricks bubble things.  You can program them to say things like:  

     Go faster than 7 MPH.     Get off your cell phone.     Pull out in front of me again and I'll ram you.     Do you NOT see the oncoming vehicle?!     YIELD &%$#@!     

And then when someone does one of these things, you can chunk the cement block bubble at their car and it will explode with a screaming message so they 'get the hint'.

I promise I don't have road rage.  I just have a temper when it comes to ignorance flying past me at 80 miles an hr...  Heck, just today on my drive home this is what I experienced (NO LIE):

1. Motorcycle crash on an on-ramp of I-44.
2. Pretty sure the guy behind me at the intersection by my school was SMOKING A JOINT.
3. SUV IN REVERSE on the highway because crap fell off of the trailer it was hauling.
4. I was cut off and almost rear ended some wanker Amish-- again NO LIE-- lady on 75 South.  
5. In a one lane/construction zone intersection, traffic was stopped at a green light at 5 o'clock traffic because a car died smack dab in the middle of the road.  And apparently no one knew what to do.  And my car was vibrating from the noise level escaping from my...vocal chords...Get it together people.  God gave you brains bigger than a MEAL WORM for a reason.

I'm fed up with the craziness.  Maybe I'll get my pilot's license and a helicopter and FLY myself to work.  Ha, who am I kidding?  I'm going to invest in a mega phone.  How effective would THAT be?

Plotting revenge on all ignorant drivers,
Summer