Ramblings

Ask me how I spent the last 4 hours?  Cleaning.  I'm a moderately hygienic person and I try to live in a sanitary house.  But like I always say, it's survival of the fittest around these parts and try as I might, I'm not exactly Clorox Wipes commercial material...I'm still scraping banana bits from under the table after last night's escapades and I'm pretty sure after our unsuccessful dinner tonight has led to barbecue sauce on the ceiling and partially...chewed...pork ribs.  GAG.

On a happy note, I have started a garden (I promise to write about it when things are more 'developed' and worth photographing!) and I must say, I am quite proud!  Unfortunately, the people we bought our house from had an outdoor sand box which sweet little Elmo delighted in using as a porta potty.

 Much to my horror, Husby decided to put my garden in that exact spot.  But he dug up the 'sand' and moved the blasted box.  In it's place he made me something ah-mazing!  What a smart man I married!  SO LUCKY!  Especially because the drawing I originally gave him looked like a toddler drew it.

Well I'm exhausted, sorry this post isn't glamorous and amazing.  We have a field trip tomorrow morning.  I'd rather get my teeth cleaned.  By a blind gorilla.  With a wire brush and Comet kitchen cleaner.

xoxo Summer

Whine and Dine

Perfectly juicy, pink in the middle, melt in your mouth steak. Basalmic roasted fresh asparagus. Potatoes au gratin with a crusty crunch top but creamy amazingness once bitten into.

Got a mental picture? That precise dinner is what Husby and I sat down to this evening. Enter fussy toddler and super sick 8 month old. About 30 seconds into diving fork first through steak and potatoes, Bee decides she is not a fan. That's fine. Whatever. You're sick. Here's a banana.

About this time Turtle has figured out he isn't getting any food (last solids he consumed were abruptly 'given back' exorcist style therefore I am avoiding that situation all together). So he pitches a fit.

Rylie poops. Bad. Down her back. I obviously have to stop attempting any sort of food consumption and change her. Mind you, asparagus doesn't retain heat well and my potatoes are looking a tad soggy.

From Bee's room I can hear Husby getting agitated. I peek trough the doorway. Turtle is literally squeezing the sad little life out if a peach slice allllll over his face. Apparently he did not care for Daddy's snack choice.

Bee and I return to dinner. She promptly stuffs potato in my Diet Coke when my back is turned for 1/32 of a second. Isn't that just adorable? GAG. I feel the need to interrupt...myself... to explain that she is going through a stage of independence. Therefore she refuses the high chair, only sitting in a grown up chair next to me in the dining area. Bee is gnawing on a bit of banana that she hasn't spit all over me yet-precious- when she flings herself forward and lands face forward on our tile floor. Banana bits go flying and all I can think about is how ironic it is that I did something similar to this as a child and messed up my two front teeth pretty bad.

Husby and I hold her while icing her poor thick skulled head. At this time Turtle throws himself into a fit of a life time and I am resorted to leaving Bee on the couch alone with her ice pack. Now Turtle has pooped. It's massive. You know that giant robo car thing in the museum in the latest Transformers movie? It's that big. And it smells. Like a dead squirrel. Left in the hot sun. For a month. Next to a sewage plant. In July. I attempt to change him (bless Husby's heart, these types of things literally make him vomit) and I realize it is all over the poor babe's back. Bath time!

You would think my romantic, candle lit dinner would be over by now. But it's not. Whilst washing the baby, Bee discovers her latest potty job in her training potty. (My parents watched the kids today and I guess my mom thought I would want to see it so she saved it.) OH MY GEEZ. True story. So Bee tries to share her work with us. One ripped ice pack and Bee bath later, I am no longer hungry. I'm exhausted. And it's only 7 pm....

How do the Real Housewives make child rearing look so glamorous??
xoxo Summer

Friday Five

Ya'll ready?  Here's the list!



1.  A kiddo at school donated snacks. Random snacks.  Ones I would have never eaten before in my life.  But today I tried a pancake and sausage on a stick.  And my life will never be the same.  Again.  Four pancakes on a stick later, I can say I'm addicted.  Random fact: I can eat more than my FIL  He's a hefty guy.  But my appetite is bigger.  :)

2.  Husby wants a 'detailed idea' of how I want my garden to be this summer.  So I sent him this.  After looking at it for a bit, I am a.) amused by my amazing detail and b.) fascinated by my ambitious attempt at a garden at all.  Clearly I am a professional.  I'm expecting a call from Better Homes and Gardens and Southern Living any day now.

3.  Bestie A has never heard of a moon pie.  WHAT?!  I will never look at her the same again.  So at lunch this week she literally googled it.  I'm bringing her one for dessert Monday.  (Clearly not a true southern girl if she has never even heard of one!!)  It's ok though.  I still love her.

4.  Speaking of moon pies and all things delish, who ever came up with this ridiculous idea?  Breakfast for cats.  This is what our world is coming to people!  You know it's hit the fan when your cat eats better in the am than you do.  I'll take 'rise and shine' with real bacon and eggs over crappy soggy cereal any day! 

And on another note, Elmo, my frisky feline, eats anything.  Heck, he licks his own butt.  I'm sure he won't be offended if I don't spend the extra dough to provide him a sunrise surprise. 



5.  Symmetrical Butterflies!  I have an abundance of foam shapes so I had my kiddos pick four shapes, stick them on one wing, and imitate the pattern on the opposite side.  Such a pretty display in our room and a great assessment tool!

Big plans this weekend people?  Sidder is coming to help decorate Bee's room Saturday.  I might be a little feng shui retarded...  Dont' judge.

Happy Friday!

xoxoSummer

Bumper Cars

Short people are like dynamite.  They may be little, but when you tick them off, an explosion occurs.  Don't believe me?  Pull out in front of me or cut me off on the highway.  I.  become.  unglued...

I'm a Christian.  I'm a mother.  I try daily to be the best person I can be.  But when a complete moron gets behind the wheel of a vehicle and veers towards me, I want nothing more than the chunk a heavy object in their general direction.  I think an IQ test should be administered when people apply for a drivers licence.  It would most definitely reduce the amount of 'traffic incidents' on the road...

If it was legal and I had bajillions of dollars to invest in a company, I would create  these exploding bricks bubble things.  You can program them to say things like:  

     Go faster than 7 MPH.     Get off your cell phone.     Pull out in front of me again and I'll ram you.     Do you NOT see the oncoming vehicle?!     YIELD &%$#@!     

And then when someone does one of these things, you can chunk the cement block bubble at their car and it will explode with a screaming message so they 'get the hint'.

I promise I don't have road rage.  I just have a temper when it comes to ignorance flying past me at 80 miles an hr...  Heck, just today on my drive home this is what I experienced (NO LIE):

1. Motorcycle crash on an on-ramp of I-44.
2. Pretty sure the guy behind me at the intersection by my school was SMOKING A JOINT.
3. SUV IN REVERSE on the highway because crap fell off of the trailer it was hauling.
4. I was cut off and almost rear ended some wanker Amish-- again NO LIE-- lady on 75 South.  
5. In a one lane/construction zone intersection, traffic was stopped at a green light at 5 o'clock traffic because a car died smack dab in the middle of the road.  And apparently no one knew what to do.  And my car was vibrating from the noise level escaping from my...vocal chords...Get it together people.  God gave you brains bigger than a MEAL WORM for a reason.

I'm fed up with the craziness.  Maybe I'll get my pilot's license and a helicopter and FLY myself to work.  Ha, who am I kidding?  I'm going to invest in a mega phone.  How effective would THAT be?

Plotting revenge on all ignorant drivers,
Summer

Pie Hole

I love Lois Ehlert's books, her illustrations are masterpieces!  For our weekly writing sample, we read Pie in the Sky and the little loves did their best work!  Here are a few of my favorites:

This sweet girl didn't know how to spell 'alphabet' so she wrote the entire alphabet to write 'alphabet pie'.  Isn't that precious?  LOVE her. (Oh, and she included a bonus 'pool pie'.  A little weird, no?)

Rainbow pie.  MMMM!  How ingenious!

I asked this friend where his pie was.  Guess what?  "Mrs. Bass, it's invisible cherry pie.  You can't see it, goofy!".  Oh.  My bad.

I'm so refreshed by my pre-k kiddos' creativity.  They continue to amaze me.  I might just be a wreck May 17.

Craving pie...

xoxo Summer

There's Pepper and Parmesean in my Purse!

Rekindled a friendship tonight.  And I'll be surprised if she calls me back to have another dinner!  Why you ask?  Just keep scrolling... 

Condiment Queen 

Path of destruction in one tiny booth...

Fork in the milk...

Pizza Dough...

Our table...absolute horrendousness!  What you DON'T see on the floor:  10 crumpled napkins, four complete sets of mangled silverware, my lip gloss, car keys, 2 lemon slices, random black olives, ranch dressing, crayons, and lots and lots and lots of ranch coated pepper...

No words...

I'm sorry Hideaway on Cherry St.  I promise we will only visit once in a blue moon.  Hey, at least we tipped half way decent!

Fully and Happy Happy Happy,

Summer

Death by Chocolate

It's Tuesday. Staff meeting. Three weeks left of a school.

I stab for chocolate.

(Bestie A's face in background is my fav!)

Three weeks. Three weeks. Three weeks.
Xoxo Summer

Bombs Away!

I'm in just as much shock as the next person about the Boston Marathon Bombings.  It makes me so sad to think about how unsafe our world is getting.  Things like this didn't happen 100 years ago.  Then I start to thinking...

Don't be offended by what I'm about to say, this post is merely an observation and opinion of sorts.  I mean NOT to appear opinionated or close minded!

It seems much of the terror attacks and tragedies that have occurred in the past few years have happened on the East Coast part of the US.  A fairly Conservative area of the country.  It's almost as if terrorists know better than to mess with the south.  We are gun toting, fearless, 'Don't Mess With Texas' attitude people who are extremely passionate about our roots and protecting our family, friends, and...trucks. 

No one plants bombs on us because we don't run marathons.  We have pie eating contests-no one would dare interrupt a redneck festival dedicated to chugging beer and food...that's just dangerous; Hank Williams Jr. concerts- people would be too 'high on life' (if you know what I mean) to care to blow that party up, and of course, NASCAR-- do I need to explain that one?

And then there's the aftermath of it all.  Everyone wants to put the accused to trial and go though all of these litigations and tax paying dollars to drag out a court hearing and sentencing and blah blah blah.  Just put the criminals in a classroom full of sugared up 5 year olds.  Watching Barney and Sponge Bob.  For a decade.  Trust me, if that was the punishment, I assure you many close minded terrorists would think twice before two stepping a bomb into these parts. 

After it's all said and done, we don't really have time for terrorists in Oklahoma.  Heck, people in Tulsa do enough damage. 

This fine looking fellow loaded his 'hot bod' up with meth, robbed some people and then ran through a casino with a loaded shot gun.  Yeah.  We're hard like that.  Good grief.  My father in law ACTUALLY saw this guy, as he is an avid poker player and was at the River Spirit Casino when the moron ran through.

I hope our government figures out the gun laws soon.  And I hope terrorists get a clue.  The people they hurt are good people.  People that might have helped them at some time in their life...a teacher, cashier, nurse, waiter....if you keep blowing us up, there won't be any Americans left to HELP YOU. 

Get a clue...and a real job...blowing people up is sort of a dead end, crappy way to earn rent.
Summer

Questionable Yellow Fruit

I love my MIL (mother in law).  She cracks me up.  Whilst wining and dining (coca cola and cheeseburgers!) the other night, I came across this...science experiment...in her kitchen.  Can you guess what it is?  No, it's not a charbroiled pickle...or a petrified cat's tail...this, my blogger friends, is a banana waaaaaay beyond it's youth.  Not even botox can revive it.  "What on earth is this doing on your counter?!"  Banana bread is her answer.  God love her, she only bakes 2 or 3 times a year...now I know why.  I LOVE YOU, Womy!

Sticking to carrot cake and pumpkin muffins,
Summer

Cancer Sucks

Sometimes I wonder if God handpicks our friends for us?  I'm sure he does!

I still remember the first time I met one of my dearest, closest friends.  We were sophomores at OSU in some crazy "Inquiry Based Chemistry" class; aka science for dummies.  We were bright eyed, bushy tailed, and the only 19 year old girls who weren't in a sorority and we. were. married.  

A timeline of our lives together almost resembles a soap opera of sorts.  Long hours of studying under our tree at OSU, fairy tale and not so fairy tale marriages  Christmas lights, Pumpkin parties, semester Y, child birth, boxers (DOGS!), and ambitious photography.  I can tell this girl anything.  Actually, I have told her everything, and she still loves me!  Doesn't she merit some sort of award?

So when she called me last week and told me something I never thought I would hear her say, my heart literally stopped.  "Pray for me...I just found out I have cancer."  I could literally taste the bile building up in my throat.  My eyes burned, and my heart panicked.  

What if we don't get to live out our life long dream of raising our children to be God-fearing, steak and potato eating, Elton John fans together?  What if we never get to live out our remaining years in our little house by the sea, retelling old stories, laughing about how we freaked out when we recognized our first facial wrinkles or cellulite dimples?  I was struck with such a fear of losing her, it literally overpowered me. 

 I have honestly never prayed so hard in my entire life for God to heal her so she can raise her children without pain, love her husband without fear, and live her quirky, adoring life the way she had always planned.  When I had my surgery a week ago today, all I could think about was how she was going to have to do the same thing in just four short days but her outcome may not be as... joyous... as mine.  

Monday she went through one of the hardest things she will (hopefully) ever have to do.  I waited by my phone for two days like a teenage girl waiting on her new boyfriend to call.  Finally she told me.  The cancer was gone!  The doctor had miraculously removed the disease entirely during surgery and she wasn't going to need chemo or radiation.  WHAT JOY!  

Little Friend,  this post is for you.  Thank you for always answering the phone at 2 am when I am freaking out, helping me solve child rearing puzzles, and for being that friend that sat by me that one day in science class..I love you so so so much!

xoxo Summer

Looking fabulous!

Ode to Bacon Part Deux

Bacon, bacon, bacon.  Ode to Bacon 2 is in order:

1.  Summer doesn't share food.  It's almost a law in our house...

2.  

If I worked out, I would most definitely sport this shirt:

3.  

Bacon Popcorn...

4.  Deck the Halls with LOADS of bacon!  

Fa la la la la, c h o l e s t e r o l !

5.  This one sorta reaches my 'limit' of normalcy.  It's bacon frosting, which is cool.  But the image on the tube is bacon...eating...itself...  Isn't that a tad weird?

6.  "Turtle Burgers"  Welcome to the South, Ya'll!  Let me fire up the grill and roast ya 'hotter dogs wrapped in strips o' bacon!"  Grab me a brewski!

7.  This one is for Husby.  Although I was much more enthused about it than he, men have Ducktape.  Real men have Bacon Ducktape.  WORD!

I hope you guys have a super spectacular Wednesday!  It has been strange weather around here...cold this morning, hot mugginess this afternoon.  Tornadoes expected tonight.  YEEHAW!

Peace, Love, Bacon,

xoxo Summer

Mr. Sandman is HARDCORE.

Having never taken prescription pain killers for anything ever, I was not prepared for the insane dreams they would provide. The sheer ridiculousness of them are pure renditions of Alice in Wonderland!

I woke up in a daze Saturday morning. Here's what happened:

I was Taylor Swift and Husby and I were house hunting. For a boat. Not a house boat. Just a boat. To live on. Or in whatever. So we go look at this one boat and I'm all concerned about the curls in my hair. Seriously.

We step into the boat and although it is small on the outside, it does this warped Mary Poppins thing and is ginormous on the inside. We go into the presumed bedroom of the boat and find like 9 baby cribs. All with blue pillows. And the realtor tells us the seller is a business woman who is also a single mom. Apparently Husby and I have no children at this point and it freaks me out so we leave.

I take my own space ship car- can you just imagine how crazy real this is to me?!- to Whole Foods which is connected to some posh shoe store. I find a $300 pair of sandals made of shiny string and pony beads. Clearly I had found a bargain. Then I try to hide the receipt so Husby wont flip and head home to the crazy house we shared with like 15 other people. But in a good way. Like the Brady Bunch or something.

There are other weird details that I can't really remember. Like we lived in Chicago. My space ship car was pink. And I couldn't carry a tune to save my life.

I'm sticking to Aleve for now. No more crazy woman pain killers. I flushed them before I had another insane dream. I can only imagine who I would be.

Sweet dreams!
Xoxo Summer

Stick my finger in my eye...

I can be a tad irritable at times. It happens. I'm a woman. I can't stand ignorance or incompetence. So here's my rant of today. Ready? Go! (Bear with me on this post, I can only blog from my wanker phone due to us still not having Internet...don't even get me started on that little mantra!)

1. Cox communications customer service. Yes, I want you to charge me out of the wazoo for decent Internet because AT&T STILL cannot get it together. (AT&T only sends me bills every three months, threatening termination which is dumb. So I only pay three months at a time.) So I will order cox. And be put on hold to 'schedule my fast and friendly installation'. It's been thirty two minutes people. I'm over it.

2. Buying seed starter packs which CLEARLY have FIVE rows for seeds but only THREE seed label stick thingies. Wow. Way to step it up Burpees!!!!! Glad I'm not super OCD about having the right amount of things identical! Pretty sure this type of thing would send my mother into an all out melt down. I'm half way there.

3. My belly button sutures. This super glue crud is for the birds. It itches and burns and I'm pretty sure my intestines are trying to escape when I laugh. Or cough. Or sneeze. Or pee. Or walk. Or blink. Or swallow. Or breathe.

Not quite sure what I would consider the highlight of my day. I must say its hard to compete with a four hour, uninterrupted nap.

But then, nothing is as 'precious' as discovering Bee's POOP balls she makes and shoves under her pillow for me to find when she is alone. For three minutes. While I'm brushing my teeth. GAG. I honestly have no idea where she gets these grosso ideas.

I would say from her father but I don't want y'all to judge me. I say that... Once he actually picked his nose and was so proud of the sheer size of his man-booger, he left the blasted thing on my steering wheel. Like a cat who kills a mouse and leaves it by the front door for praise. And I married him. We have two children together. Isn't life grand? Ha!

Clorox wiping everything while I'm still on hold,
Xoxo Summer

Summer- 1 Gall bladder- 0

Having been to the hospital every year for the past two years, it only seemed natural for me to have another visit....three times a charm, right? (Clearly we have a thing for being medically in debt up to our eyeballs!)

I had my gall bladder removed Thursday morning. I learned three things from the experience.

1. When they say 'come in at 6 am, sharp!', they mean it. I was draped and in surgery by seven. They whisked us out the door to home by nine thirty. It was nice, we could have had time for a lunch date, except I wasn't quite sure who I was by noon....

2. They fill your tummy up with some sort of gas- air? I guess? That's besides the point. No one told me they did this, so when I woke up looking six months pregnant, I panicked. I thought they did the wrong operation. Three days later, I no longer resemble a moored whale.

3. They close your incisions with glue. No problem. Except my belly button feels like it is full of Saran Wrap and clear nail polish. No biggie.

All in all, the highly qualified staff at St. Francis took excellent care of me. I even got a 'feel better soon' card from the surgeon's receptionist. (She clearly is just waiting to mail me he initial bill!) The highlight of all of this has been the magic ability to eat normally again and watch my sweet Husby be a wonderful daddy and nurse! We are waiting on Dominos as we speak! (Read?!)

Xoxo Summer

Bye Bye Bladder

Dearest readers, as most of you know, tomorrow I am going under the knife! My gall bladder shall not have the best of me yet!

A celebratory bacon, egg, and cheese sandwich was most definitely in order for breakfast!  Take THAT gall bladder!  (And a great big thanks to Ms. Mansker!)  Last night Husby and I stuffed our faces with Taco Mayo.  In our big ol bed.  Watching a movie.  At 10:30 at night.  We're a bunch of rebels, aren't we?  HA! 
In preparing for the procedure, dearest Ms. Mansker researched foods for gall bladder victims.  Here's what we learned:
 Avoid:

·         Foods that are fried, like French fries and potato chips

·         High-fat meats, such as bacon, bologna, sausage, ground beef, and ribs

·         High-fat dairy products, such as cheese, ice cream, cream, whole milk, and sour cream

·         Pizza

·         Foods made with lard or butter

·         Creamy soups or sauces

·         Meat gravies

·         Chocolate

·         Oils, such as palm and coconut oil

·         Skin of chicken or turkey

Well that's awesome.  That rules all major food groups.  *Chuckle chuckle*  PS- The 'meat gravies' one threw me off.  It sounds gross, the way they worded that.  GAG.

Then she found this:

High-fiber and gas-producing foods can also cause some people discomfort after gallbladder surgery, so you may want to introduce them slowly back into your diet. These include:

·         Cereals

·         Whole-grain breads

·         Nuts

·         Seeds

·         Legumes

·         Brussels sprouts

·         Broccoli

·         Cauliflower & Cabbage

Let me first say this. Gross.  I wouldn't want to stuff cabbage down my throat any way.  But did you read the list?  That cuts out literally everything else on the spectrum of food.  Except grapes and carrots.  And beer.  That sounds like a party, doesn't it? 

The good news is this, everyone I have talked to who has undergone the gall bladder massacre has recovered quite well and are much better off in the long run.  And the nurses promised to give me stadol before the surgery to 'calm my nerves'.  Have you ever been on stadol?  It has certain hallucinogenic properties to it.  I was given a hefty dose of it when I was in labor with Bee...Let's just say I saw the toilet dancing and I don't remember my epidural at ALL.  Husby does.  He still tells me the crazy things I said...oh heavens...it still amazes me that he chose to marry me!   

I'm not gonna lie, I probably won't be blogging for a few days...will ya'll survive?

Missing my love affair with all things bacon (turkey bacon from now on- le sigh)

xoxo Summer

Café You Say?

I'm a caffeine junkie. I admit it. But I'm sorta snobby about my caffeine..I am addicted to Coke, Diet Coke, Pepsi, Diet Pepsi and Sweet Tea (gee, did I name enough?)  I do like to try new things however, so when I got one of my free samples of Nescafé Memento, I was excited! 

I LOOOOOVE the smell of coffee.  It reminds me of early mornings living in Louisiana when I was a kiddo.  I would wake up smelling my daddy's coffee brewing while he woke up at the crack of dawn to go to work.  I would wake up with him and munch on cheerios or raisins.  :)  But, coffee tastes bitter to me.  People tell me, 'add sugar, cream', whatever.  That is too much effort.  If you have to add a bunch of 'frill' to something to make it taste better, chances are, I'm not going to eat it.  Unless it's a Zebra Cake...That's for another day...

I followed the directions to on the package and I made myself the Mocha flavored one.  I tried a little sip.  Then a little more.  Then a little more.  It was sweet and smooth!  It was a tad too strong for me to finish, but I'm quite positive an avid coffee drinker would LOVE it!  :)

Faithful to Diet Coke,

xoxo Summer

Monopoly Money

A little friend at school was enthralled by my reward stamps so he took it upon himself to 'donate' a few.

I asked him where he got them and he enthusiastically said "KMART!" Oh how excited I was for him! Then Ms. Mansker asked if he spent all of his allowance on them. "Oh, no! You have to pay for those things?! I thought they were free!!!" Ah, the innocence of children is so refreshing!

Chicken tenders to go

This, my friends, is the epitome of high class in Oklahoma. Yes, these well groomed people are chasing a chicken. I was the ONLY one in the parking lot shocked by this.

Ode to Pizza Hut

What once stole my heart has now crushed my soul.  Sound like a Romeo & Juliet scenario?  It is. Pizza Hut vs. my new address apparently.  Our house is technically in Sand Springs but we have a Tulsa address.  Isn't that simple?  I'm sure you know how pleased I was having to call fifteen different people just to get the electric and water turned on in our names...  I digress. 

Yesterday was a looooong day.  Gruelling school day, 2 hr doctor appt. with Turtle...It's a safe bet that I'm not cooking.  So I call up trusty, tasty Pizza Hut on my way home.  It's 5:10.  I can just taste the Pizza Hut sliders in my tummy.  I even do a dance in the car.  Yes!  This is happening.

6:30.  I'm waiting patiently for my pizza.  I get a phone call.  The super talented Pizza Hut delivery man called.  "I'm lost, where is your house."  I read off my address again.  Silence.  For a minute I thought the man hung up.  Apparently the guy was half way to Catoosa.  That's awesome.  I might have flipped out a little on the phone.  Bee was definitely screaming for food in the background.  He told me someone from customer service would call me to resolve things. 

6:45 A phone call from Missouri.  Customer service was super nice and offered to pick up the tab on our pizza order.  They sent the order through to the Sand Springs Pizza Hut (the one I ORIGINALLY called).  Great.  The lady said it was going to be about 30 minutes and we should have it by then.  I am halfway convinced.  But those sliders are so so so good. 

8:00  Steam is coming out of my face.  I get a call from Omaha, Nebraska.  Sure enough it's Pizza Hut.  "Um, we don't deliver to Berry Hill, ma'am.  It's out of our service area."  Are you *&^%$#@ kidding me?  Why did no one call me over an hour ago to tell me that?  I told the man where he could shove his 'sliders' and hung up.

8:30  Bee and I are happily munching on Arbys.

Today at lunch
Mrs. Campbell- "Want pizza?"  Me- "Yeah!  I'll order Pizza Hut sliders!  Surely they know where our school is!!"  Pizza Hut website-Sliders are no longer available.  I give up. 

Discovering Summer Time

People always tell me I should have my own reality TV show.  I don't think it would get very high ratings, I'm no Snooki or Vicki Gunvalson.  I get excited over simple things like pictures of bacon, finding a long lost bag of M&M's, communicating through lines of rap via text message with Husby, stuffed crust pizza, and singing Raffi music with Bee.  Not Lamborghinis or rhinestone iPads.  But if someone was following me around wth a camera, this is what they would discover:
A.  I have an addiction.  To Post It's.  Is that weird?  I'm like a sticky paper hoarder.  See my TUB o' Post It's in my storage closet at school?  It gives me some sort of natural high!

B.  Cookie cake.  Double Decker Cookie Cake.  Yes.  This. Is. Happening.

C.  Shoes.  Strangely, Husby bought me these last year for part of my Christmas.  I always get complements on them and they are so comfy!  He truly is my other half!  (I'm thinking HE thinks if he buys me stuff, he thinks I will feel less obliged to shop.  Boy was he wrong! HA!)

Tomorrow is Friday.  YAY!

xoxo Summer

Garage Door Shenanigans

Before I explain my AWESOME morning, let me tell you this.  I am a habitually late person who procrastinates.  Therefore it seemed logical for me to be the one who gets two small children ready in the morning, feed and let out the animals, gets myself ready for the day, loads up the car, packs two lunches, turns off all of the lights, adjusts the thermostat and tries to make it out the door by 6:45.  Yes, I know.  I'm a genius.  This being said, let me give you vivid detail of how this morning went 'down'.

It has been a bleary, rainy past two days here in Oklahoma.  My husband, who despises all yucky weather, spent last evening 'organizing' his new garage.  Great.  Fine.  Good for you, here's a gold star.  But PUHLEASE don't block the garage door sensors with drop cloths 'by accident' when you know your wife will be flying out the door the next morning and won't have time to figure out why the dang thing won't close.

This morning, I was on time.  I looked put together.  I even managed to get socks on BOTH of my children and jackets and blankets.  Super star mom!  Then we loaded up and were headed to school!  I pressed the close button on the garage door clicker thingy.  The garage door light literally spazzed out on me and the door kept going down about 12 inches and shooting back up.  Bee is laughing, Turtle is screaming, I am...well ...trying my best not to flip out.  (Remember, 'non-morning people' tend to be bears in the morning...)

I get out in the pouring rain to investigate.  By this time my neighbors, who I have not yet formally introduced myself too, have pulled up in their Tahoe with their kids in the passenger seat, waiting on the school bus.  I have discovered the drop cloths blocking the sensors and I quickly shoved them out of the way.  In doing this, I managed to unhinge one of the sensors at the bottom of the door rail thingy.  It is still raining.  The dogs are running around me in circles, excited because of the rain.  I am getting soaked.  Bee is now screaming.  Turtle is laughing. 

I get so mad trying to reattach the garage door sensor, I chunk it across the garage...which my weenie dog promptly retrieves.  That's a miracle in itself because the stupid dog has never been able to learn a thing in his life, what a time to prove he can retrieve!  The neighbors in their Tahoe have now rolled down their windows to watch me 'fall apart' and I am screaming.  After a quick 'pleasant' phone call to Husby, I figure out how to reattach the stupid sensor, shove the soaked, stinky dogs in the garage, and all but crawl back into my car.

I was a tad tardy to work...next time I'm just going to bulldoze the wanker door...

xoxo Summer

Funny Bunny

I apologize for the absence of a post lately. I'm not gonna lie, I had zero pain which is rare these days, so I have cleaned like a mad woman til I was near exhaustion. I have learned if I don't eat, my gall bladder doesn't feel like its going to spontaneously combust. My surgery is next week.... PRAISE THE LORD!

I digress. One of our first grade teachers kindly volunteered her her hubby to dress like the Easter Bunny and take pictures with all of the little ones at school. Naturally I jumped at the chance to document torturing my own personal children with oddly dressed strangers. Ha! So I had my sitter bring up Bee and Turtle... Yay for the Easter Bunny!

Is it ok that I am slightly obsessed with my children?

xoxo

Summer