Men are pigs. Literally. I love my husband very much but he eats us out of house and home. I'm telling you, if the walls were made of nachos or Zebra Cakes or something ridiculous like that, we would be screwed. Then he complains when I spend $150 on food. On Friday I went to the grocery store to buy a few things to make three meals this weekend. Oh, and some of my favorite pretzel chips. I wanted to try this new Dorito Taco Bake. It appeared to be right up everyone's ally. I bought the chips, crescent rolls, and meat. I should have hid the chips. I knew better. I even told him not to touch them because they were for the recipe. Low and behold, a little more than 24 hours later, the crumbled remnants of a JUMBO bag of Doritos lies on my kitchen floor. That's right. It didn't even make it to the trash can. Le sigh.
Then I go to the fridge to make myself lunch and I grab for one of my Diet Cokes GONE. He drank every single one. Ok, I probably drank 90% of them but he had the last one. I didn't even get to say good bye. So I resorted to Grapefruit Juice-gag-.
I'm super annoyed by now. He waltzes into the kitchen, carefree as usual, ready to scour the fridge for something else he can devour in 15 seconds flat. He opens the fridge and even has the gall to ask what was for dinner. "Well dear, you ate the chips I was going to use for the taco bake. Now I have no idea". His reply? "We have stuffing don't we? Can't you do anything with that." Oh yeah, you'll get stuffing alright....It is safe to assume I am silently relieved I played my cards right and hid my pretzel chips and strawberry cake mix in the hall closet (it's an unorganized mess, Husby avoids it at all costs...). I'm going to make cake cookies when he naps and hide them in my car to take to work tomorrow. Does that make me a bad person?
I suppose we will be that old married couple who instead of sleeping in separate bedrooms, eats out of different pantries. I'm going to hire an armed guard for mine...
Pining for Diet Coke,
Summer
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