Friday Five

Ya'll ready?  Here's the list!



1.  A kiddo at school donated snacks. Random snacks.  Ones I would have never eaten before in my life.  But today I tried a pancake and sausage on a stick.  And my life will never be the same.  Again.  Four pancakes on a stick later, I can say I'm addicted.  Random fact: I can eat more than my FIL  He's a hefty guy.  But my appetite is bigger.  :)

2.  Husby wants a 'detailed idea' of how I want my garden to be this summer.  So I sent him this.  After looking at it for a bit, I am a.) amused by my amazing detail and b.) fascinated by my ambitious attempt at a garden at all.  Clearly I am a professional.  I'm expecting a call from Better Homes and Gardens and Southern Living any day now.

3.  Bestie A has never heard of a moon pie.  WHAT?!  I will never look at her the same again.  So at lunch this week she literally googled it.  I'm bringing her one for dessert Monday.  (Clearly not a true southern girl if she has never even heard of one!!)  It's ok though.  I still love her.

4.  Speaking of moon pies and all things delish, who ever came up with this ridiculous idea?  Breakfast for cats.  This is what our world is coming to people!  You know it's hit the fan when your cat eats better in the am than you do.  I'll take 'rise and shine' with real bacon and eggs over crappy soggy cereal any day! 

And on another note, Elmo, my frisky feline, eats anything.  Heck, he licks his own butt.  I'm sure he won't be offended if I don't spend the extra dough to provide him a sunrise surprise. 



5.  Symmetrical Butterflies!  I have an abundance of foam shapes so I had my kiddos pick four shapes, stick them on one wing, and imitate the pattern on the opposite side.  Such a pretty display in our room and a great assessment tool!

Big plans this weekend people?  Sidder is coming to help decorate Bee's room Saturday.  I might be a little feng shui retarded...  Dont' judge.

Happy Friday!

xoxoSummer

Bumper Cars

Short people are like dynamite.  They may be little, but when you tick them off, an explosion occurs.  Don't believe me?  Pull out in front of me or cut me off on the highway.  I.  become.  unglued...

I'm a Christian.  I'm a mother.  I try daily to be the best person I can be.  But when a complete moron gets behind the wheel of a vehicle and veers towards me, I want nothing more than the chunk a heavy object in their general direction.  I think an IQ test should be administered when people apply for a drivers licence.  It would most definitely reduce the amount of 'traffic incidents' on the road...

If it was legal and I had bajillions of dollars to invest in a company, I would create  these exploding bricks bubble things.  You can program them to say things like:  

     Go faster than 7 MPH.     Get off your cell phone.     Pull out in front of me again and I'll ram you.     Do you NOT see the oncoming vehicle?!     YIELD &%$#@!     

And then when someone does one of these things, you can chunk the cement block bubble at their car and it will explode with a screaming message so they 'get the hint'.

I promise I don't have road rage.  I just have a temper when it comes to ignorance flying past me at 80 miles an hr...  Heck, just today on my drive home this is what I experienced (NO LIE):

1. Motorcycle crash on an on-ramp of I-44.
2. Pretty sure the guy behind me at the intersection by my school was SMOKING A JOINT.
3. SUV IN REVERSE on the highway because crap fell off of the trailer it was hauling.
4. I was cut off and almost rear ended some wanker Amish-- again NO LIE-- lady on 75 South.  
5. In a one lane/construction zone intersection, traffic was stopped at a green light at 5 o'clock traffic because a car died smack dab in the middle of the road.  And apparently no one knew what to do.  And my car was vibrating from the noise level escaping from my...vocal chords...Get it together people.  God gave you brains bigger than a MEAL WORM for a reason.

I'm fed up with the craziness.  Maybe I'll get my pilot's license and a helicopter and FLY myself to work.  Ha, who am I kidding?  I'm going to invest in a mega phone.  How effective would THAT be?

Plotting revenge on all ignorant drivers,
Summer

Pie Hole

I love Lois Ehlert's books, her illustrations are masterpieces!  For our weekly writing sample, we read Pie in the Sky and the little loves did their best work!  Here are a few of my favorites:

This sweet girl didn't know how to spell 'alphabet' so she wrote the entire alphabet to write 'alphabet pie'.  Isn't that precious?  LOVE her. (Oh, and she included a bonus 'pool pie'.  A little weird, no?)

Rainbow pie.  MMMM!  How ingenious!

I asked this friend where his pie was.  Guess what?  "Mrs. Bass, it's invisible cherry pie.  You can't see it, goofy!".  Oh.  My bad.

I'm so refreshed by my pre-k kiddos' creativity.  They continue to amaze me.  I might just be a wreck May 17.

Craving pie...

xoxo Summer

There's Pepper and Parmesean in my Purse!

Rekindled a friendship tonight.  And I'll be surprised if she calls me back to have another dinner!  Why you ask?  Just keep scrolling... 

Condiment Queen 

Path of destruction in one tiny booth...

Fork in the milk...

Pizza Dough...

Our table...absolute horrendousness!  What you DON'T see on the floor:  10 crumpled napkins, four complete sets of mangled silverware, my lip gloss, car keys, 2 lemon slices, random black olives, ranch dressing, crayons, and lots and lots and lots of ranch coated pepper...

No words...

I'm sorry Hideaway on Cherry St.  I promise we will only visit once in a blue moon.  Hey, at least we tipped half way decent!

Fully and Happy Happy Happy,

Summer

Death by Chocolate

It's Tuesday. Staff meeting. Three weeks left of a school.

I stab for chocolate.

(Bestie A's face in background is my fav!)

Three weeks. Three weeks. Three weeks.
Xoxo Summer

Bombs Away!

I'm in just as much shock as the next person about the Boston Marathon Bombings.  It makes me so sad to think about how unsafe our world is getting.  Things like this didn't happen 100 years ago.  Then I start to thinking...

Don't be offended by what I'm about to say, this post is merely an observation and opinion of sorts.  I mean NOT to appear opinionated or close minded!

It seems much of the terror attacks and tragedies that have occurred in the past few years have happened on the East Coast part of the US.  A fairly Conservative area of the country.  It's almost as if terrorists know better than to mess with the south.  We are gun toting, fearless, 'Don't Mess With Texas' attitude people who are extremely passionate about our roots and protecting our family, friends, and...trucks. 

No one plants bombs on us because we don't run marathons.  We have pie eating contests-no one would dare interrupt a redneck festival dedicated to chugging beer and food...that's just dangerous; Hank Williams Jr. concerts- people would be too 'high on life' (if you know what I mean) to care to blow that party up, and of course, NASCAR-- do I need to explain that one?

And then there's the aftermath of it all.  Everyone wants to put the accused to trial and go though all of these litigations and tax paying dollars to drag out a court hearing and sentencing and blah blah blah.  Just put the criminals in a classroom full of sugared up 5 year olds.  Watching Barney and Sponge Bob.  For a decade.  Trust me, if that was the punishment, I assure you many close minded terrorists would think twice before two stepping a bomb into these parts. 

After it's all said and done, we don't really have time for terrorists in Oklahoma.  Heck, people in Tulsa do enough damage. 

This fine looking fellow loaded his 'hot bod' up with meth, robbed some people and then ran through a casino with a loaded shot gun.  Yeah.  We're hard like that.  Good grief.  My father in law ACTUALLY saw this guy, as he is an avid poker player and was at the River Spirit Casino when the moron ran through.

I hope our government figures out the gun laws soon.  And I hope terrorists get a clue.  The people they hurt are good people.  People that might have helped them at some time in their life...a teacher, cashier, nurse, waiter....if you keep blowing us up, there won't be any Americans left to HELP YOU. 

Get a clue...and a real job...blowing people up is sort of a dead end, crappy way to earn rent.
Summer

Questionable Yellow Fruit

I love my MIL (mother in law).  She cracks me up.  Whilst wining and dining (coca cola and cheeseburgers!) the other night, I came across this...science experiment...in her kitchen.  Can you guess what it is?  No, it's not a charbroiled pickle...or a petrified cat's tail...this, my blogger friends, is a banana waaaaaay beyond it's youth.  Not even botox can revive it.  "What on earth is this doing on your counter?!"  Banana bread is her answer.  God love her, she only bakes 2 or 3 times a year...now I know why.  I LOVE YOU, Womy!

Sticking to carrot cake and pumpkin muffins,
Summer

Cancer Sucks

Sometimes I wonder if God handpicks our friends for us?  I'm sure he does!

I still remember the first time I met one of my dearest, closest friends.  We were sophomores at OSU in some crazy "Inquiry Based Chemistry" class; aka science for dummies.  We were bright eyed, bushy tailed, and the only 19 year old girls who weren't in a sorority and we. were. married.  

A timeline of our lives together almost resembles a soap opera of sorts.  Long hours of studying under our tree at OSU, fairy tale and not so fairy tale marriages  Christmas lights, Pumpkin parties, semester Y, child birth, boxers (DOGS!), and ambitious photography.  I can tell this girl anything.  Actually, I have told her everything, and she still loves me!  Doesn't she merit some sort of award?

So when she called me last week and told me something I never thought I would hear her say, my heart literally stopped.  "Pray for me...I just found out I have cancer."  I could literally taste the bile building up in my throat.  My eyes burned, and my heart panicked.  

What if we don't get to live out our life long dream of raising our children to be God-fearing, steak and potato eating, Elton John fans together?  What if we never get to live out our remaining years in our little house by the sea, retelling old stories, laughing about how we freaked out when we recognized our first facial wrinkles or cellulite dimples?  I was struck with such a fear of losing her, it literally overpowered me. 

 I have honestly never prayed so hard in my entire life for God to heal her so she can raise her children without pain, love her husband without fear, and live her quirky, adoring life the way she had always planned.  When I had my surgery a week ago today, all I could think about was how she was going to have to do the same thing in just four short days but her outcome may not be as... joyous... as mine.  

Monday she went through one of the hardest things she will (hopefully) ever have to do.  I waited by my phone for two days like a teenage girl waiting on her new boyfriend to call.  Finally she told me.  The cancer was gone!  The doctor had miraculously removed the disease entirely during surgery and she wasn't going to need chemo or radiation.  WHAT JOY!  

Little Friend,  this post is for you.  Thank you for always answering the phone at 2 am when I am freaking out, helping me solve child rearing puzzles, and for being that friend that sat by me that one day in science class..I love you so so so much!

xoxo Summer

Looking fabulous!

Ode to Bacon Part Deux

Bacon, bacon, bacon.  Ode to Bacon 2 is in order:

1.  Summer doesn't share food.  It's almost a law in our house...

2.  

If I worked out, I would most definitely sport this shirt:

3.  

Bacon Popcorn...

4.  Deck the Halls with LOADS of bacon!  

Fa la la la la, c h o l e s t e r o l !

5.  This one sorta reaches my 'limit' of normalcy.  It's bacon frosting, which is cool.  But the image on the tube is bacon...eating...itself...  Isn't that a tad weird?

6.  "Turtle Burgers"  Welcome to the South, Ya'll!  Let me fire up the grill and roast ya 'hotter dogs wrapped in strips o' bacon!"  Grab me a brewski!

7.  This one is for Husby.  Although I was much more enthused about it than he, men have Ducktape.  Real men have Bacon Ducktape.  WORD!

I hope you guys have a super spectacular Wednesday!  It has been strange weather around here...cold this morning, hot mugginess this afternoon.  Tornadoes expected tonight.  YEEHAW!

Peace, Love, Bacon,

xoxo Summer

Mr. Sandman is HARDCORE.

Having never taken prescription pain killers for anything ever, I was not prepared for the insane dreams they would provide. The sheer ridiculousness of them are pure renditions of Alice in Wonderland!

I woke up in a daze Saturday morning. Here's what happened:

I was Taylor Swift and Husby and I were house hunting. For a boat. Not a house boat. Just a boat. To live on. Or in whatever. So we go look at this one boat and I'm all concerned about the curls in my hair. Seriously.

We step into the boat and although it is small on the outside, it does this warped Mary Poppins thing and is ginormous on the inside. We go into the presumed bedroom of the boat and find like 9 baby cribs. All with blue pillows. And the realtor tells us the seller is a business woman who is also a single mom. Apparently Husby and I have no children at this point and it freaks me out so we leave.

I take my own space ship car- can you just imagine how crazy real this is to me?!- to Whole Foods which is connected to some posh shoe store. I find a $300 pair of sandals made of shiny string and pony beads. Clearly I had found a bargain. Then I try to hide the receipt so Husby wont flip and head home to the crazy house we shared with like 15 other people. But in a good way. Like the Brady Bunch or something.

There are other weird details that I can't really remember. Like we lived in Chicago. My space ship car was pink. And I couldn't carry a tune to save my life.

I'm sticking to Aleve for now. No more crazy woman pain killers. I flushed them before I had another insane dream. I can only imagine who I would be.

Sweet dreams!
Xoxo Summer