Kung Fu Grandma

Y'all, from now on there is no excuse NOT to defend yourself you get robbed. Let me explain. 

A somewhat elderly, somewhat disabled- and by disabled I mean she was on an oxygent tank!!!!!!!- fought off a masked man who attempted to rob her and her husband in their home. 

The guy walked in and the woman demanded he 'put down his gun'. Stupid man that he was declared he didn't have a gun- thus initiating the attack. The woman (true story,y'all) went after the guy with her wooden backscratcher and beat him so dang bad he ran out, leaving a blood trail behind him. 

Let me side step right quick. This is not the first time the woman used said scratcher as a defense mechanism. She 'fought off' bats last year. True story. Bats. 

Low and behold, the cops found the guy and the rest is history. The moral? Anything could be a weapon. Stapler. Solo cup. Couch pillow. Get it girl. 

Feeling motivated to walk down a dark alley, 

XOXO Summer

Wordless Wednesday

What brings out your inner Bubba Gump?

XOXO Summer

New Chapter

Many of you know. Many of you don't. I have 'turned in my teaching tools' and I am taking a giant leap into a completely different element that is so foreign to me it's terrifying.

I have prayed about it. Cried about it. And cheered about it. God has prepared me and I could not be more excited!!

Today is my first day at State Farm Headquarters as a claims assistant in the fire claims department. I have no idea what to expect but I know in my heart this is where I need to be. 

Please pray for me. Pray that I find happiness and fulfillment in my new career choice. And pray for my little family that we might easily adjust to this new exciting change. 

Cheers to new life chapters!

XOXO Summer 

Meat. Balls.

I have received soecial requests for my meatball recipe. Grab a pen, here we go!

Meatballs for spaghetti:

1 lb high quality ground beef (I never use less than 80/20)

1 pkg powdered spaghetti sauce mix (trust me) 

1 tsp jarred, minced garlic- only if uou have it in hand. Gives the meat a kick. 

Mix 3 ingredients up. Form golf ball size meatballs. It's best to cook them on stovetop on medium heat. Rotate meat as each side browns. The 'darker' they turn out the crisper the crust will be- the meat will hold up better when in sauce. If they start to burn add a few TB of water to your pan every now and then. 

I'm not Martha Stewart, y'all. I just add the cooked meatballs into jarred sauce and toss with cooked pasta. 

Let me know what you think!! 

Ciao, Summer 

Ninja KICK!

So. I live on the wild side. I'm always up for an adventure. I thrive on living on the edge. When Bestie LaLa (previously Bestie Aide) asked me to accompany her to a quiet, uneventful park day I was down like a clown. (I know y'all missed my ridiculous phrases!)

I showed up, two excited people in tow. We were ready for a safe, fun day. Then I got gutsy. 

Kids were having a blast. Bee hopped onto this: 

It's called a spinner. And I almost died on it. 

You stand on the bottom circle and hold onto the top circle. For dear life. And you spin. 

Let me pause to remind you of two things. 1). I left my job in March. I have ZERO health insurance. 2). I outweigh my almost three year old by a gazillion pounds.  More weight= faster you go. I tried explaining inertia to Bestie Aide but I'm quite sure I lost her at inertia. 

Bee hops on and looks so cute! 'Mommy, you go!'  Sure! No problem. Whatever you want, Kiddo. 

I hoist my large self up onto said spinner and slowly begin to rotate. I'm feeling good. Wind in my hair. Laughter. Giddy. But then I started to really really pivot. Super fast. Imagine a large screaming bolt of lightning. I call out to Bestie Lala. 

'Just stick your leg out!!' she cries. And that, my friends, is when I took flight.  

Everything happened in slow motion. I stuck out my left leg like a hippo peeing on a tree and felt my not so graceful self levitate into a death roll spiral. When I landed, I was sprawled out like a dead cowboy in a shoot out. 

Everyone stopped. My kids stared. Y'all, even the German Shepard across the street stopped barking. 

I laid on the forgiving rubber ground for a good long while. When I realized I hadn't died, I manged to peel myself up and laugh it off. 

At lunch later, we relived the moment at least 100 times. I concluded, after Bestie Lala's review of the 'flight' that I looked something like this:

Or this:

(Thank you kindly, Bestie Lala for your wonderful photo contributions. I am forever grateful.)

Cheers y'all. I'm definetely drinking some vino this pm!!

Peace. Love. Playgrounds.

XOXO Summer

I'm baaaaak!

Friends. This year has most definetely had its ups and downs. God has challenged me and pushed me to the limit but I have persevered.

That being said, cheery ol me has gone through a writers block the size of Texas. Depression can do that to ya. I'm not gonna lie, since I left my teaching position in March, I have gained 25 pounds and my diligence with laundry has all but fizzled. Like a firework in a rain storm. 

But, dear friends, things are looking up. My supportive family, loving friends and FANTASTIC hubby helped me crawl out of my pit of sorrow and I am finally seeing the light!

Through this crazy journey I have managed to be a better mommy to Bee and Turtle, spend quality time with those whom I love dearly, and oh yeah. Husby found a puppy.  (His name is Jake. He is 7 weeks old and 20 pounds. Pretty sure he isn't a yorkie...)

I am back to writing and loving life. So grab sunscreen and hold onto your boots. It's ALWAYS sunny with Summer and I'm beaming with UV rays! 

XOXO Summer

We all live in a yellow submarine...

So. I have been meaning to rant about this story for a while but life happened. 

Two 'educated' parents epically fail at an attempt to go  around the world in a sailboat. With TWO toddlers. And no one questioned their mental health. Or parenting. Seriously. 

Let me just say this. I know everyone is entitled to their own opinions and whatnot. I get it. But COME on!

Clearly this was a suicide mission. I HAVE two small toddlers myself. They can't even handle being in a car together for a 20 minute ride to Target. You think they would make it 1 hour in a sail boat. In open water. With no Mickey Mouse Clubhouse or yard to run in? Doubt it. 

And the parents. Let's talk about that for a moment. What were they going to do for food? Or more importantly, wine? There is no way on God's green earth my Husby could get me in a confined space with just the four of us in a rocking 'house' for over a year with nothing to drink but water. I highly doubt the Pacific Ocean had a drive thru liquor store. Or Mc Donald's. (Someone should look into that....might be decent money in it....)

And lastly. Y'all what happens when someone's stomach is upset? Not just 'oh I need some mylanta'. I'm talking full on, 'clear the room, what did he eat' stomach issues. Like the ones that really test the strength of a marriage. Do you just throw that person overboard with a life preserver until it 'passes'? 

I feel like these people did NOT think this through despite their feeble attempts at explaining themselves.  Get it together people. Seriously. 

Hoping my children can handle being cooped up due to rain tomorrow (praise Jesus we don't have a boat!!)

XOXO Summer

Cheddar Coins

An amazing road trip this weekend with Besties means I'm cooking up a storm before hand! (Y'all know I gotta eat every hour!). I found this gem in my latest Good Housekeeping magazine. YUMMY! They are like cheesy, savory cookies-but NOT sweet!

Ready for the low down?

Ingredients:

1 1/2 c flour

1 1/2 c shredded cheddar cheese

1 TB corn starch

1 tsp sugar 

1/2 tsp salt

1/2 tsp cayenne pepper (I used chili powder)

10 TB butter, cold, cut into pieces-- you HAVE to use the real deal in this recipe!!

Combine everything but butter in food processor. When mostly combined, add butter cubes. Combine for 1-2 minutes, you'll know it's ready because a dough ball of cheesy, heavenly goodness will magically appear. 

Form into ball, chill for 2 hrs (or 15 mins in freezer). 

Roll dough into 1/4 in thickness, cut out and place on cookie sheet. I am cheap so I used a glass turned upside down as a cookie cutter. I used a silpat (EVERYONE NEEDS ONE!!) but parchment paper also works well in your cookie sheet.  

Bake at 350 degrees for 15 minutes. These cheesy guys don't rise, so watch carefully at around 13 minutes.

Happy eats!!

XOXO Summer

Just keep spinning...

Dear friends. The life span of an average hamster is 1-2 years. I know this because I inherited one from a dear friend from school. And I knew nothing about hamsters when I naïvely agreed to inherit my new furry buddy. 

His name is PJ (Percy Jeffrey). He was one year old when he shuffled into my world. We instantly bonded. And by bonded I mean he escaped from his hamster ball in a chaotically unorganized pre-k classroom I was putting together last summer. There was panic. Mostly on my end (I assume). And some screaming. (Definitely on my end). Turns out, PJ feels right at home balled up in a kiddo cubby. Who knew?

PJ was supposed to live at school. But I felt bad for him during the weekends so I brought him home to Bee and Turtle. 

Clearly the air-head in me thought this thru. Yes, he will have a calm, relaxing, quiet weekend at school. Let's take him on vacation every Fri-Sun at a place where toddlers HURL things across the room and shove sharp objects in small spaces. (Don't believe me? I just found toddler silverware in our AIR CONDITIONING VENT in the kitchen).  Let's do it. PJ put on his game face. And sure enough, his poor cage was over turned in less than an hour. 

He survived. And persevered. And in fact, he is still alive and kicking. Literally. (He has learned some hamster defense moves since moving into our living room). 

And shockingly, he may only eat once or twice a week- I tend to forget he needs sustenance....only sometimes. Often. Whatever. He stashes food. And he still lives!!

Elmo, cat king, has established quite a relationship with him also. One would think a small rodent being in the presence of a morbidly obese feline would tend to shave months off of the small being. Adherently no. It's almost extended his life. I mean, he is now on THREE years. That's fantastic! Elmo talks to him daily.  I'm currently researching hamster vitamins. 

I end this rant with a wheel. A hamster wheel. I am convinced cardiovascular health is the key to PJ's longevity. No matter how rough his day, I hear him hauling his hind end off on that blasted hamster wheel. Seriously he runs it like he is in fire. If PJ were a person he would be competing in Ironmans and Olympic activities. I know the toddler snacks my Loves 'gently' shove in his cage aren't pills of youthfulness. It's gotta be the wheel. 

Now I'm thinking. I know, hold into y'all's seats. Can I get a hamster wheel? How does one go about inheriting a person sized wheel?? Would I break my collar bone (again)? How fast could I go? What if my t-rex arms can't support me if I start to spin with the wheel? Maybe it's best I leave the wheeling up to PJ. After all, it's keeping the old guy alive!!!

What other animal toys can I use??

XOXO Summer

Wordless Wednesday

What's your nightmare?

XOXO Summer