Fast forward. PLEASE.

Ever have one of those weeks that you wish you could fast forward to the next week? This is that week. What we initially thought was a stomach virus has turned into full blown diahrrea in the most horrible degree. I've missed all week at school, can't eat, and can barely cuddle my poor 20 pound son. I am miserable. The good news is that sweet Husby took me to the doctor today (I didn't have the strength to drive myself) and we did massive blood work and...other bodily fluids samples. I hope they narrow down the causes.

This being said I can only imagine what my colon would say to me if it could talk. (Awkward, right?). I have a pretty good idea. And I'm pretty sure it would 'look' like this:

Begging for Bacon

I'm a fat kid.  If you know me you understand.  So when I saw this on my computer at work, ya'll know I was THRILLED!  Nothing gets me going like a crispy bacon BLT sandwich.  Oh myLANTA, just imagining it gets me all excited... 

Then I got to thinking...what would I do with a tower of bacon like that?  Would I ever see my feet again?  Then I think of delicious bacon-y goodness dancing on my taste buds and looking at me feet seems asinine.     

Did you know there is a place in Washington...or Oregon?  I don't remember...anyways, they make maple bacon doughnuts.  I.  Would.  Die.  There is a reason God put me in Oklahoma.  I would be 500 pounds easy living in a 'foodie' place.

I leave you with this recipe.  It looks amazing.  I'm going to try it this weekend! 

Beer-Candied Bacon

1 lb thick-cut, high quality bacon
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/4 cup + 2 tbsp beer (I used Dogfish Head’s Chicory Stout)
Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Combine brown sugar and beer in a small bowl, whisking well to form a thin syrup. Set aside.
Line a rimmed baking sheet with aluminum foil. Place a wire cooling rack on top. Place the pieces of bacon on top of the rack, overlapping if necessary. Place in oven and cook for 10 minutes.
Remove from oven and brush one side of the bacon with the beer syrup. Flip, and coat the other side with the syrup as well. Return to oven and cook for 10 minutes. Remove from oven, and repeat process another time or two more, until bacon is crispy and browned, and you’ve used all the glaze.
Cool on wire rack for at least 1 hour before serving.
Source: adapted from Oskar Blues Brewery

PS- To pass time during Nap Time today, Dearest Ms. Mansker (my aide) made up a tongue twister which is actually quite difficult...say this three times fast:  "Bass's Bacon Blog!"  Hard isn't it? HA!  She amazes me daily!...Then again, I also amaze myself...

Water with a Brain

Having two kids being sick, and overcoming a wretched stomach virus myself, one tends to remember what made them feel better.  In the midst of attempting to cram fluids down my quite stubborn one year old, an idea hit my husband smack on his head.  She needs electrolytes... Smart Water has electrolytes.  I know this sounds nuts and you know where I'm going with this...stay with me...

Rylie is an unusual kid, she only drinks whole milk and water.  Pedialyte grosses her out and we hated sitting on her to get her to drink it.  Zach realized Smart Water had electrolytes 'added into it' (isn't that weird?!  I mean, who decides to add things like that to water??  Maybe that's why I DON'T get paid the big bucks...le sigh...)  Anywho.  We switched out her tap water with Smart Water and I kid you not, she seemed perkier and more energized after a few hours.    Who knew water would have a brain?  HA!

Wondering what else they add to water...
Summer

Blogs, viruses, and exclamation points!

I'm not going to lie...since the birth of my second child, I have all but abandoned my poor blog which I used to love so much!  I have run out of steam and time!  I have also noticed I am unconsciously obsessed with ending every sentence with !....How strange is that?

Anyway.  I think New Year's Resolutions are a crock, but I am honestly going to try to blog more in 2013.  There was something therapeutic in it.  It was my time.  Not kiddo's time.  Not Husby's time.  Mine.  I need that!  Anyone out there get what I'm sayin?

I leave you on this chilly Saturday with this lovely tale...  I have spent the last four miserable days of my existence fighting off what I assumed was horrible gall bladder pain.  Come to find out yesterday morning (right in the midst of doing Circle Time with my Loves at school), it was a wretched stomach virus.  Five days of not 'using the bathroom' caught up with me.

Preface:  I have to have my gall bladder removed (two years straight of being pregnant can really do a girl in!) and I told my surgeon I wanted to wait til this summer because I have exhausted every single sick day I ever earned with two maternity leaves...  she told me I would eventually become completely constipated and nauseous... I would be miserable.  Oh, and the cramping would be unbearable.  Great.  Fantastic.  I LOVE it.

So when Monday rolled around, I had horrible, searing pain in my side.  "Oh, that's the pain she was talking about!"  Then I realized I hadn't pooped.  Then Tuesday.  No bathroom relief   I put every fibrous thing I could find in my body.  I drank water.  I did squats   Nothing.  Wednesday.  I was in such pain I could barely walk.  Sleeping was a joke.  Still no relief.  Thursday was a blur of pain.  I was so tempted to drive myself to the ER but I couldn't peel myself off the couch.  Then Friday came.  The pain suddenly stopped around 8 am. I found myself sprinting to the bathroom and the rest is history.  Three pounds lighter and finally well rested I can tell you I am finally a happy camper!

All that being said, I am going to put my oldest down for a nap and try to figure out how to re-vamp my blog :)  I love you all!

Happy Saturday!
Summer

Holler for a Dollar (Tree)

I spent $15 at the Dollar Tree.  It. Was. Amazing.  The best part?  I tried a new one (new to me) on 31st and Harvard.  It was so big and nice!  Like a Dollar Tree multi-plex.  Heaven for a broke teacher (who loves Ulta, HA!)  Anyway.  Next time you are in the Tulsa area, it's seriously worth a shot at visiting!  :)

PS- Buying a one year old maracas is a 'not very well thought out' idea.  Not only are they annoyingly loud, they become extremely obnoxious, dangerous missiles when thrown...  Just sayin...

Ulta-embarassing!

I went Ulta a few days ago.  Ulta is my favorite makeup store.  After my experience there a few days ago, I don't think I'll be going back.  Here's what was 'observed'.

A woman enters the store and immediately puts her daughter down.  She couldn't find a shopping cart so she calmly tells the little girl she can walk but she needs to stay near mommy.  Had the mother paid close attention, she would have seen a fellow shopper roll her eyes as if to say 'good luck'!

The little girl promptly screams at the top of her lungs in excitement, which, I assure you, could be heard by everyone in the store, despite the blaring too-early Christmas music.  The toddler wriggles out of her arms and takes off for the first fragile display she can get her hands on before the frazzled mother can even re-adjust her purse or grab a shopping bag.

The highlight of this mother's shopping trip could be several things.  Her amazingly talented child managed to single handedly destroy an entire body wash display which, according to the store clerk picking up the 'after shock' of it all declared, took hours to construct.  Or maybe it was when the toddler grabbed a handful of lip gloss and chucked it enthusiastically into her mother's purse.  An innocent shop lift (which was immediately caught and 'fixed' by the appalled and now exhausted mother).  I'll bet it was the elephant sized fit the kiddo threw right there in the check out line, struggling to remove herself from her mother's death grip.  Sadly, by this time, the mommy was drenched in sweat, toddler boogers, and a weird smell from a bottle of lotion the 'precious' girl had managed to open and squeeze all over her mother's shoulder.  The pathetic woman was near tears and had never prayed so hard for a Harry Potter Invisibility Cloak.  Or a toddler leash.

Thinking her journey was almost over  (hey, she was almost next in the cashier's line), she relaxed a little and tried calmly reasoning with her banshee screaming girl.  By now the pair had cleared an unnatural path towards the exit door and an elderly woman turned to her friend next to her and loudly says "back in my day, when a child acted like that, we stopped what we were doing, swatted them, and took them HOME."  (The whole time shooting the shaking mother a nasty look.)  What horror!  Luckily, the mommy was the next in line and was able to check out.  After prying her daughter off the counter, where, while checking out, the girl attempted to eat a container of 'impulse buy' nail files, hair ties, and candy cane shaped body washes, she fled to her car and resisted sobs as she strapped her little girl into the car.

The little girl stopped her wailing, smiled, and she blew her mommy a kiss.  Who knew such terror could be so sweet?  Who knew that little girl was mine?  Who knew walking meant independence in a one year old's world?  Man, I have got a lot to learn about toddlers.

Hoping the other two Ultas in Tulsa haven't heard of us yet, 

xoxo Summer

Friday Five

1.  This stuff is awesome!  And cheap!  I am shedding post-baby hair and when I bought this a few weeks ago, I fell in love!  And it's only a buck at Target!  :)  SCORE.  (Lint rollers are a different story...I'm going to have to start buying them in bulk...stupid 'after baby after effect'!)

2.  Old Navy.  $8.50 RIGHT now. Enough said.

3.  

Let me explain.  My daughter LOVES bubble baths and I get frustrated trying to get the bath...frothy...Then I was making an omelet one morning and it hit me.  Use a whisk in the bath water!  It works like a charm.  

4.  Let me explain this picture... no wait.  Can you tell what's wrong with it?  That's right.  One of my closest friends and colleague is a SPED teacher at my school.  She failed to notice the opened tab of the cookies...and decimated the package by opening it at it's end.  Fail, dearest Annie.  Fail.  (I laughed so hard I choked on my cookie.  Karma is ironic.)

5.  My sweet angels at school did a great job wrapping up our ocean unit this week!  Don't you love their creativity?  This illustration makes my heart sing.  My aide had a great belly laugh when she tried to guess what animal was what.  :)  

Praise Jesus it's Friday!

Summer

Bass Babies...sickly edition

Coughing. Snot bubbles. Diarrhea. My idea of a good time! (said no one ever). My kiddos are sick and they are too little for Triaminic or Mucinex. Luckily, through amazing advice from loved ones and fellow Mommies, we have got our sickly snot routines down pat.

I wish they gave out Emmys or Nobel Peace Prizes for Mommy advice. If I won, it would be a great conversation piece on my coffee table... Right next to a spit up rag and questionable sippy cup of presumably unexpired milk. (I'm a good mom, I promise. However, it's survival of the fittest at our house sometimes. Just sayin...)

Anyway. Here is what I have come up with. I hope this helps all new mommies with the upcoming nasty cold weather and flu season!

1. Saline nasal spray. LIFE saver. It's a gentle spray of saline which is natural, harmless, and surprisingly effective at declogging boogers (GAG). I recommend the 'baby' version-which is the one I have- and can be bought in the infant aisle of Walgreens.

2. The nasal aspirator we got to take home from the hospital. I have never bought one... I figured if the doctor trusts it enough to initiate breathing in my newborn, it's good enough to suck out snot. My close friend, Candace, however, swears by a battery operated one. I think you can find them at Target for under $20.

3. Vicks humidifier. Ah-mazing. No more said. Normally removes any congestion and cough through the night. I always place it on the floor next to the crib so the warm air goes up directly into the air the baby breathes. Also, the Vicks humidifier has a little dish you can pour vapors into to help breathing. We have purchased both the humidifier and Vicks vapors at Walmart in the pharmacy section. (these vapors are not the same as the ones you get to rub on the chest.)

4. Vapor rub. Works like a charm. Also, I read on Pinterest if you rub it in their feet and put socks on them right before bed it clears coughs. I tried it and it works! But Bee is going through a FUN stage where socks and shoes are 'optional'. Like I said people, survival of the fittest!

5. Reli-on thermometer. Cheap. Recommended by both my doctor and pharmacist. It can be used under arm, rectally (awkward...), or orally. And it reads in under 9 seconds. Score!  (PS- Thank you to my amazing Mommy for researching and purchasing ours!)

6. Vapor bath. This sweet investment was $1.97 at Target and I do not regret it!!!

I combine all of these things.  Every now and then we have to down a dose of Tylenol as well...but the less 'drugs' in their systems, the better :)

Dreaming of a phlem free world....
xoxo Summer

Ginger SNAP

I love a good cookie. Heck, you could call me the cookie monster. I am picky, however. So when a good friend and teacher brought these to our last staff meeting I was skeptical. Until I crammed one in my mouth.

Whole Foods gets ginger snaps. Their cookies are spicy, sweet, and a groovy combination of crunchy yet chewy. It was hard not to make some awkward, inappropriate noise... After all, we WERE in a staff meeting...

Keeping life snappy,
Summer

Friday Five

TGIF, ya'll!  This week was exhausting!  I learned a valuable lesson...I will never give my children Halloween candy and then send them to school.  It's cruel and unusual punishment!!!

1.  I am going to attempt and follow through with posting each day of November one thing I am thankful for.  Today it is my ah-mazing Daddy.  He is the most caring, intelligent, sweet man.  I have learned so much from him.  :)


2.  I have started jogging again, hoping to get back into running full time!  A teacher friend told me about this fantastic app on her iPhone that has really helped me get started.  It's perfect for people like me who haven't 'worked out' in forever! (2 years...).

•  It's a 5K marathon trainer but it is so easy...it's free until you get to the 5th or 6th week but I have enjoyed the app so much I ended up buying the whole thing for only $1.99 (WORTH it!)  
• It even tracks on a satellite map where I ran! 
• It talks to you ('walk' 'jog' 'warm up', etc...) through your headphones...it also links up to your iTunes so you can listen to your music at the same time.  Isn't that super cool beans?
• Here's the first week of workouts...
• 

3.  My birthday was about two weeks ago.  My amazing Hubby surprised me with something that touched my heart.  He knows my Grandmother had bought me several Brighton pieces throughout the years and I cherish them so much, especially now that she has passed away.  He found the most beautiful necklace and earrings set!  

I love love LOVE the colors!

4.  SCENTSY!  Since returning to work, I have been able to use my cute Zebra Scentsy burner in my classroom (burning the wax made me so nauseous when I was pregnant).  I just ordered some new wax, I'm so excited to get it and start burnin! (Coconut Lemongrass; Pink Pepper, Peppermint Dreams).

5.  Saw this on the Ellen Show yesterday.  Hysterical!Pretty sure my husband and I are going to try this in a couple of years!

Happy Friday, Ya'll!

xoxo Summer