Window Seat

Whilst talking to a dear friend yesterday, I gained a valuable lesson. She told me in their almost ten years of marriage, she has learned to 'calmly gaze out the passenger seat' when her husband drives to avoid backseat driving and 'slow down! squabbles'. 

"It's habit now. I look to the right and that's it."  Pondering this, I'm wondering how many fights my sweet Husby and I would have avoided had I known this trick. 

Reflecting on our scenic drive back from Branson last year. Pouring ran. Flying through a two lane highway. Screaming toddler. My hair all but stood up. When we made it back to Tulsa I literally kissed the driveway. Could I have just looked out my passenger window and shut my mouth?

When we were dating... he hadn't even met my Dad... the ONE time Husby is driving and I do keep my mouth shut. And he rear ends an Escalade. Do you see the irony??

And what does a good wife do when the man of her dreams is all but hanging out the window blasting some poor guy on the BA just because he cut him off? I guess it wouldn't be too hard for me to look away and act like I don't know the crazy man in my drivers seat...

I should be lucky I suppose.  My daughter has learned to say 'Whee!' in the car when I 'accidentally' give the car too much gas or we go a smidge past the speed limit. Only the good Lord knows how long it will be til she rats me out to DaDa.  But I wonder dear friends... Would Husby have the self control to just look out the passenger seat window?

Only time will tell. Thank goodness a minivan can only go so fast. 

Adjusting my side view mirrors,

XOXO Summer

One Night Stand

 I love my Husby. So when summer break started for me I magically transformed into this amazing, attentive, caring wife. (I know, I'm shocked too!)  

With the summer heat beating down on his back every day it really kinks his appetite. He isn't really hungry until bed time. Enter gross details...

 One time he actually ate CHICKEN WINGS in bed right next to me. I have awoken in the am with his previous night's popcorn kernels stuck to my face. When I rolled out of bed and into three pudding cups I had enough. (Ok one more. Once he was sleep walking in the kitchen, poured himself a GIANT Eskimo Joes glass of Pepsi and attempted to drink it in bed. Epic fail. We both woke up covered in sticky syrup and wondering who peed the bed. Haha sure the man can successfully pour a glass full while in deep slumber but drink it? Apparently not...)

Due to my kitchen creativity and being a sucker for his sweet 'pleeeease's, I created something I thought would be a one night thing. Boy was I wrong. 

'Snack plates'. I started small. Crackers and cheese. Then popcorn and strawberries. Now he asks 'only one plate?'  What have I done?!

It is now our nightly ritual to put the kids to bed and he prattles off whatever sound good to him while I head to the kitchen as a short order cook. 

I may sing at the top of my lungs off key. Shrink laundry. Accidentally wash all of our mulch down the street with my inability to run a water hose. But I'd say Husby has it pretty darn good!

What shall I make for his snack plate tonight?

XOXO Summer

Wordless Wednesday

Little Bird

II thought of you today. I was sitting outside enjoying the randomly cool weather eating lunch. And a little bird perched on a chair next to me. And I knew it was you. And I wondered. 

Zach and I have had our ups and downs. But we are as strong as ever. Can you believe it?

Two children that are the center of our lives and hearts.  You always told me your children were your biggest accomplishment. If mine are an accomplishment, I feel I almost deserve a  Nobel Peace Prize. How did you raise five?

You always supported me teaching. What would you say to me if you were sitting with my little Loves? I can just hear you laugh with them. And tell them stories... like how you tried to kill a chicken for dinner and ended up swinging it over your head like a helicopter when you were 12.

I baked cookies with Bee the other day. And I swear you were hovering over us telling us how to measure and mix. And yes, they turned out ah-mazing. Just like you taught me. 

Last weekend when I tucked in Turtle for his nap at my parents house, I sobbed as hard as I ever have wrapping him in the blanket you crocheted so lovingly for my mother when I came along. You always had faith that they would have children. It took 15 long years but you were right. 

And I smile everyday when I use your makeup mirror to get ready in the morning. I can just hear you humming your sweet songs and pitter pattering around in your soft night gowns. 

I miss you so so so much. Daily. So much I can literally feel my heart break sometimes. But I know you are happy and you are watching over us every second of every day. I love you Grandmother. Happy early birthday!

Your Granddaughter,

Summer

Colors of the Rainbow

It's all fun and games til someone sharts.  (Sharts, you ask? Urban Dictionary it...)

Let me preface with several things.

1.  Our children are the same size...literally.  So to save time and sanity, we bathe them together.  They love it.  And they have fun.  Hey, I'm all about efficiency.

2.  Bestie Houston bought us these super amazing bath water color drops.  We use them all the time.  They dye the bath water fun colors!

3.  The baby, our 10 month old Turtle is way beyond 'baby food' and will only eat what Big Sis eats.  And when I say he eats, what I really mean is he shovels his food like a bear preparing for winter.  Little man may only have 7 teeth but he sure gets the job done!

This being said, we fully expected him to gobble down his chili smothered baked potato last night.
And left over chili for lunch today.  And milk.  Oodles of milk in his sippy cup.  Oh and pepper steak for tonight's dinner.  With cabbage.  Get my drift?  The boy has fiber and lactose in his system.  Lethal combo.

Fast forward to tonight.  I'm giving both babies their baths together as always.  Everyone is happy and laughing.  I turn around for seven seconds to grab the shampoo.  And I notice the bathwater is colored. Did we put a color thingy in the water?   Both babies are splashing around and having so much fun!  But how did the water get so green?  OMG.  GAG.  Turtle's face seems more relaxed than normal.  Pure relief...in the tub!

This was literally 2 minutes before the 'incident'.  

I thought Mom Life couldn't get grosser when I was nursing and woke up to find my nursing pad had leaked. Or the first time I changed Turtle's circumcision dressings.  Or when Bee blew a raspberry in my face with a mouth full of tilapia.  Or we found a 'mystery' bottle under the changing table when we moved a few months ago (who knew formula could grow such...fuzzy mold?!)  But today changed everything.  I hope to God I never ever ever have to clean out a tub of floaty POO again in my life.  (And bless Husby's heart, ya'll KNOW he can't do it...then I'd be cleaning up poo and man vomit.  Double gag.)

Ya'll hungry now?  I'm still swallowing back bile.  And I haven't even eaten yet...  Two showers (babes of course) and some crushed up pepto bismol later, we sit anticipating bed time in T-minus 15 minutes.  Ah mommy life...

Bleaching every tub toy known to man,
XOXO Summer

Friday Five!

Laughter is the best medicine! Here ya go!

1.  'No one wins today!'

2.  Just takes a bite!

3.  Seriously, what could this poor dog be thinking??

4.  Well, I guess the cat's out of the bag! Bahahahaha!

5. If I could find these in stores EVERYONE would be getting one for Christmas! First I saw the straw. Then I saw Pooh. Pure elation!  

6. Here's a bonus, y'all!  It made me smile! 

TGIF!

XOXO Summer

Simmer Down

I went out for lunch today and ordered Diet Coke.  The server asked me if I wanted caffeine free. Bless her heart!  Why would anyone WANT that? Poor girl, doesn't she know my entire world revolves around my next caffeine fix?!

How many things would go wrong if I was left 'un-caffeinated'?  The sheer thought makes me heart race and I panic. 

1. I would lose all cognitive thinking ability. 

2.  Pretty sure the dog would end up eating Meow Mix and the cat would be dining on Pedigree for Senior Dogs. 

3.  My clothes would be worn inside out. TRUE story y'all!  I did that twice at school last year...

4.  I get names confused. Easy names. Like call Samantha Janice or something insane like that. But I would never catch my mistake!

5.  My carpets might be cleaned with bug killer. Another TRUE story! Bestie T thought she was spraying Resolve carpet stuff on her rug. Nope. It was Insect Killer. 

6.   I might be cranky to the point of isolation. Complete involuntary solitude. Even Elmo avoids me. 

7.  I might have my children help me load the CASES of Budweiser at Sams Club. TRUE story again. These kids were literally screaming to take turns loading the booze. I stopped counting at four cases. 

8.  I would be snappy. Like a turtle. With teeth. 

9. I might run you over. Just sayin. 

10.  I might get divorced. Again. HA! Just Kiddng! My poor Husby puts up with me so much and he knows how I treasure my caffeine intake. It's up there next to God and chocolate. 

Do you see?  NEVER ask a mother of two under the age of two if she wants 'caffeine free'. Despite what teachers say, yes, there are stupid questions. 

Downing my fifth cup of the day, 

XOXO Summer

Don't That Beat All?!

Y'all, Ode to Daddy will have to wait. Oklahomans never cease to amaze me. This just happened:

That's right. A raccoon. As a pet. At Lowes. 

Look at how excited this svelt, sophisticated woman is! She is so happy to hold the 'exocitc' creature and lookin so fine in her oh so professionally done ORANGE highlights and skin tight two piece ensomble. 

Bet you didn't get your dad a 'coon for Father's Day, did ya? 

XOXO Summer

Ode to Husby

Since there are 'two' fathers in my life this year (my Husby and my Daddy) I shall share a little about each of them with ya'll.  Today will be Husby!

I never knew how much I could love a person until I saw how much he loved our daughter when she was born!  He was absolutely terrified.  In every way.  From diaper changing to dressing.  But bless him, he was a natural right from the first five minutes!

Right after Bee was born.

After having Bee I was exhausted, starving, and overwhelmed.  He was the one that helped and guided me in nursing (as weird as that sounds, but I swear if it wasn't for his strength thru all of it I wouldn't have followed through!).

When Bee had colic so bad we were up 8 hours in a night, he was the one that pumped her little legs to make her toot.  I was a frantic exhausted mess.  But he stuck with it.

Daughter like Father!

When Turtle was born he was the one that laid in my bed with me for 14 hours of not so fun labor til 1 am...

Trying to get a sip in!

He gets up with the kids early on the weekends just to spend time with them even though he has to get up at 4:45 am every weekday to go to work.

Teaching Turtle how to crawl.

Husby tries so hard to change poopy diapers but always ends up puking.  (Bless his heart!)

Singing!

He takes Turtle 'man shopping'.

Showing Bee how to use a screwdriver.

He sings ridiculous nursery rhyme renditions to the kids just to hear them laugh hysterically.

Just realized how many diapers we are going to go thru in a week!

Husby may choke when he sees how much I spend at Sams a month ($200 on diapers!) but he just smiles...

Showing Turtle the ropes of granite.

When he makes Bee breakfast...well...she loves it.  Normally it consists of cookies, frosted sugar coated fruit loops, and string cheese...True story.

Cheering up Bubba (he had RSV)

Husby sacrificed his mancave for his kids' backyard.  (Seriously, ya'll, that's a whopper of a sacrifice!)

Wrestling!

In the past two years of Daddyhood, I'd say Husby has learned a lot.  There is so so so so much more to learn, and he knows that.  But he is well on his way.  And I am so proud of him!  Thank you for putting up with temper tantrums, boogers, flying food, and everything else that encompasses parenting.  You truly are The Man.  :)

Tag!

Anyone can be a father; but it takes someone special to be a daddy.
XOXO Summer

Fly Guy

Every time I turn around, I dang near have to spit a fly out of my mouth.  It has rained SO much in the past weeks that flies are reproducing like...well...flies.  I'm sick of being annoyed by them, so I googled 'fly' to see how to rid my life of these nasty pests.  I learned waaaaay more than I care to know about the sicko buggers but ya'll know I just had to share the highlights!

1.  Flies carry and can pass on super revolting diseases.  Like what you ask?  Um, bubonic plague.  Gangrene.  Nice.  I'm glad they sneak into my house and post up in my kitchen....

2.  The fly guys only travel as fast as 5 MPH.  So WHY are they so flippin hard to smash?

3.  A fly's life span is 30 days.  But some have been known to live up to 5 months (GAG).

4.  Flies only have two wings.  All ofter flying insects have four.  And when they 'take off' they actually fly backwards first.  Weird, right?

And lastly, 5.  My dog, Caddy, is obsessed with them.  She will literally hold perfectly still and watch them land on her food bowl and then snap her jowls until she catches a few.  Sure, she can do that, but fetch?  No way...

How many flies have you counted today?
XOXO Summer